Don't Say My Name (Tam & Truth)

[Tammika]

He didn't need the wig anymore. His hair had grown out nicely once he quit cutting it. Kevin Jacobs never knew his hair grew so fast, he never really paid attention to it before. He'd never done a lot of things before, the number one thing being fully giving into his desire to dress up in women's clothing and try and pass as a one.

It was surprisingly easy the first time. The only thing he did was put on girls jeans, a specially made bra, a cute graphic tee and let his hair down. At school he kept it pulled back, but for the job interview at O'Charley's it was down and fully covering his shoulders, the way it did now.

"Thanks, Carla. See you next weekend." The other waitress (he loved the sound of that!) waited so they could walk out to their cars in safety, it was late on a Sunday night and he had a forty five minute drive back to his apartment and a 7am class the next morning. By the time he pulled up to his building, the lip gloss was off, his hair pulled back and another shirt pulled on over his cutesy girlish one. It was routine, perfected and yet to be sabotaged. It was close on nights he wore a skirt, but he didn't do that very often. Karen was once again Kevin and he locked his car and headed up to his second floor apartment.

[TruthSayer]

Professor Jonathan Avery looked at the young woman across from him with patient agitation, drumming his fingers on his small desk as he waited for her to finish the rather colorful story on why she didn't have her homework prepared for a class that was supposed to start in ten minutes. Car broke down... Lost her house keys... Electricity to her apartment was turned off and so could not access a computer...

All in all, a complete load of bullshit that Jon felt more disgust toward than sympathy.

"Rachel," Jon said, holding up a hand.

The girl stopped mid-sentence, blinking bloodshot green eyes at him. "S-sir?" she sniffled, wiping her eyes with the kleenex Jon handed her.

"Has there been a major death in your family? Your mother died? Your father's aunt's neighbor?" She blinked at him again, a little line appearing between finely tweezed brows. "No? Because I have very few rules in my class, and getting work in on time is one of them. No death certificate, no grade for late work. Have a nice day, Ms. Michaels."

He listened to her sniffle, watched her pouty lips tremble, saw the crocodile tears tremble prettily on long black lashes that smeared her makeup, and then watched her walk out the door.

"You could be nicer, you know," his office roommate muttered, giving Jon a look over the reading glasses perched on his nose. The man leaned back frighteningly far in his chair, linked fingers pillowing the back of his neck. Forty, bulky with muscles his personal trainer students coveted like a poor man longed for gold, Jack Algrahm was a man who loved all things petite and pretty, Rachel Michaels not excluded.

"Just because you think she's cute doesn't mean I'm going to give her special attention," Jon answered, gathering his notes for the next class into a messy little pile in the center of his desk before stuffing them into his brief case. He lifted papers, dug through his bag, and opened drawers on his desk, muttering to himself as he shuffled things around.

"I don't suppose I could blame you for that," Jack answered, nodding sagely. "After all, the only good decision you've ever made regarding women was getting so drunk four years ago you didn't know it was woman at all."

"Shut up, Jack," Jon said casually, but glanced at his daughter's picture on the corner of his desk with a little smile; Jack was right, there. "Dammit, where the hell is my pen!"

"Jon," Jack said, grinning as he pointed to the side of his own head.

Jon blinked at him and reached up, and muttered a curse when he found the pen he'd been searching for behind his ear. He kissed his fingers and then touched them to his daughter's nose, and headed to class.

[Tammika]

Kevin ran down the hall at break neck speed. He had over slept and was going to be late for his all time favorite class. Coming in at 2am did that to you. Next time he'd have to turn down Jen no matter how much she begged.

He was late so might as well make a grand entrance. Kevin, ever the class clown, burst into the side door and ran down the aisle to an open seat, "You don't see anything, I am not late! All of your watches are off by," he paused to look at his own watch. "Five minutes!" With that he sat down and flipped through his notebook like nothing was wrong. The corners of his mouth twitched, fighting a grin.

[TruthSayer]

Jon was mid-sentence when his most/least favorite student came bursting in, little red LED light in his hand pointed in the general direction of the human skeleton projected onto the wall. His mouth shut slowly as he frowned, hoping off his stool to make his way toward Kevin.

"As, I was saying," he said, "One can tell the sex of a skeleton by looking at one thing. Can anyone tell me what that is?"

"The size of the bones?"

"The width of the shoulders?"

"The shape of the pelvis," Jon said, stopping by Kevin's desk. He leaned down, putting one hand on Kevin's shoulder as he whispered, "I'd like to see you after class," before he continued down the isle. "A man's pelvis is circular, while a woman's is oval in shape. Anyone know why this is?"

[Tammika]

Faceplants on your desk were not just silly things you typed in internet chat rooms. Kevin dropped his forehead to his desk as the guy next to him snorted. "The Avery's has got you now, Fish. Your perfect record has been broken and now the Avery's is gonna break you."

The sentence had a different affect on him, but he flipped off Shin while keeping his head on his notebook. "There will be no breaking of the Fish, Shin." He hissed back, straightening up before the professor saw him goofing off.

After class he stayed by his desk as people filed past him. Every other person making some smart ass remark to which he replied right back, with something just as mouthy.

"Wait professor why are we letting out five minutes early?" Kevin made as if to kick Shin, who dodged and ran out the door, leaving Kevin standing in front of the podium, rocking his feet and curling them on the side.

"Umm. I have no excuse other than I just overslept. No drama. I just overslept, hit the snooze twenty times threw the fuc- ... er clock across the room kinda morning. All I can say is sorry and it won't happen again. It's the first time I've been late so does that count for anything? Um.. I love your class? Um.. you look good. You been working out? Hey I normally get up early for practice lap but I even... slept through that.. I'm gonna shut up now."

[TruthSayer]

Jon sighed, waiting to talk until the class had cleared out completely. He stood and walked to the door, kicked the stopper out of it, and closed it to prevent anyone in the halls from hearing what he was about to say. "Kevin..." he started, crossing his arms lightly over his chest as he walked back to his stool and sat down. "You do realize that teachers aren't supposed to play favorites, right? So if anyone asks what transpired, tell them that I ripped you a new asshole, add some tears to it, whatever you feel appropriate just so long as it preserves my reputation as Miami U's biggest prick professor.

"As it is, have a nice day, and don't put me in this position again. Got it?"

Yes, asking Kevin to stay after was all for show, because Rachel Michaels was the type to go straight to the dean if she thought a teacher was playing favorites. But where Rachel was lazy with a capital 'L', Kevin Jacobs was not; he turned his work in on time.

Jon stood and gathered his paperwork, ending the conversation.

[Tammika]

Kevin shifted his eyes from the podium, to the window, to the door, and then back to the professor. "You serious? I can just..." He started backing towards the door as he pointed to it a smile breaking out on his face.

"Oh wait I shouldn't look that happy coming out of here, I should think of something that makes me angry or sad, like Justin Beiber's latest album or the fact that he even has any. Damn! Why do millions of teens like that punk? Yeah that works, though it adds a touch of depression too but yeah. Thanks." He fumbled with the door but jerked it open and stormed out, but not before giving the professor a genuine cheesy Kevin smile. It was awesome that his reputation saved his ass, now he just needed to come through on keeping the promise. no more late Sundays. Period.

[TruthSayer]

"I thought you said teachers weren't supposed to crush on the poor young innocent students."

Jon threw a glare at Jack, the man leaning with his back against the doorway as he watched Kevin retreat down the hall. "Shut up, Jack."

"I suppose I can see it though," Jack said, scratching the stubble on his chin. "If you turn your head and squint, he kinda looks like a girl..."

"Shut up, Jack!"

"Ah, that's right. I'm an idiot. You don't like girls."

Jack did a magnificent job of ducking the model of a heart thrown at his head.

[Tammika]

Kevin was glad to have twenty minutes to kill before his next class. It gave him time to calm down. His mind normally ran a million miles an hour, but being alone with Avery was enough to give him a heart attack. No one knew he had a major thing for the man. A major thing that would never come to fruition. No one would ever know. He would just have to day dream and have nightmares about every customer at work being him.

His phone vibrated and he flipped it open to read a text from Shin asking him if Avery shoved the book down his throat. As ordered he replied that he tore him a new one and left it at that.

The week went smooth from then on and Friday found Kevin changing to Karen in his car at a gas station a mile from his house. He slipped of his shorts and slid on a jean skirt. Thanks to swimming him having shaved legs was not an oddity and he was mighty proud of his legs too. A sparkly pin in his hair was his newest accessory. A gift from one of the girls at work.

He clocked in at four at O'Charley's an went straight to work. It was always hopping on Fridays.

[TruthSayer]

"Daddy, I want a hambugger," Sarah Elizabeth Avery insisted, her sure nod causing a cascade of brown curls to tumble over her small shoulders.

"A hamburger?" Jon asked, raising an eyebrow as he followed the hostess to their booth. "Not chicken nuggets?"

"No, a hambugger," Sarah said, laughing as Jon picked her up, ticking her sides as he sat her in the booster seat the hostess put down for her before leaving the menus. He slid into the booth opposite her, and lifted a menu, mouth twitching.

"Ketsup?"

"Ew!"

"Okay, no ketsup. What about onions?"

"Daddy! That's yucky!" Sarah answered, making a face at him. "Just musturd!"

"Just mustard," he repeated, giving her a crisp salute that made her giggle. "Got it, General. I think I'll have... worms and applesauce."

"Daddy, there's no worms in the menu!" Sarah giggled.

"There is, too," Jon said, tilting the menu toward her and pointing to the picture of the spaghetti plate. "See? Worms. Right there."

Sarah stared at the picture hard, seriousness stealing over her like a blanket. "Daddy," she whispered, leaning toward him. "I think I want McDonalds. They don't have worms."

Jon threw his head back and laughed.

[Tammika]

"You get two sides with that plate."

"Oh are you on that list?"

Kevin rattled off the sides by memory, ignoring the man's stupid line and penned down the one the customer chose. "I'll be back with your drinks as fast as I can."

"You do that."

Kevin rolled his eyes at Carla as they passed in the aisle, tucking his book in the black and green apron around his waist. She grinned and stuck out her tongue glad the two guys weren't on her side of the room. Kevin walked right passed the professors table without a second glance, distracted by stopping at the booth just behind him to refill a glass of tea for a moment and then moved on to drop the orders. Tips were good if you kept the glasses full.

[TruthSayer]

"A purple tree," Jon said, nodding with approval as he watched Sarah draw on the paper place mat with the crayolas the waitress brought her. Their empty plates were pushed off to the side, Sarah's smeared with bright yellow mustard in swirly little patterns she had decorated with a french fry. "Why did you choose purple?"

"Purdy," Sarah shrugged, then reached for orange to color the sky.

Jon smiled and sat back, bringing his glass of tea to his lips as he glanced around the pub, watching a young mother struggle with two children in the booth in the corner; a man attempt to flirt with the woman across from him at the table across from them; a waiter behind the bar grin and touch another young man on the arm as he passed him a beer. Jon raised a brow at that, but said nothing, eyes touching on the waitress passing his table-

"DADDY!" Sarah squealed, all commotion in the restaurant ceasing as she burst out into tears, her new flowery purple dress and brown curls dripping with the tea Jon had just spit all over her.

Jon cursed and slipped into her side of the booth, sitting her on his lap as he grabbed his napkin and wiped at her face, muttering apologies to her though his wide eyes were riveted to the... Despite the skirt and shaved legs and girly shoes, that was not a waitress!

"Kevin?!" he mouthed silently, because his voice had completely deserted him. What the hell?!

[Tammika]

Carla ha gone the opposite direction so Kevin was the only waitress nearby when the little girl squealed. Kevin had been working there for a year already and was used to covering for others. Only once or twice had he seen anyone he knew, but they didn't recognize him. Even though all he did was change his clothes, let down his hair and add lip gloss. His ears were already pierced and today he wore little dangling teardrop earrings that were the same shade of pale green as his eyes and peeked out from his hair when he leaned forward.

Grabbing a fresh warm towel from the busboy cart he hurried over to the little girl and her daddy. His eyes were totally on the girl when he crouched beside the table. "Awe honey. Here's a towel for you." Looking up at the man he added, "You want me to or would it be-"

His voice caught in his throat and he thought for sure he would just die right there. He was looking into the face of his anatomy professor and he was sure he would melt into the floor right there. recognition was mirrored in his eyes, shock and recognition. "...Umm, here, you keep this one and I'll get another one for the table and that pretty dress." He stood and hurried away. He mumbled the situation to Carla who went to take the towels and he made his way to the bathroom, the girls bathroom, to calm down.

[TruthSayer]

Jon actually leaned away from him when Kevin knelt down, ears ringing with the tenor of a voice that sound more feminine than many of the girls he taught. Any tiny little smidgen of doubt that might have remained in Jon went out the window at the look on Kevin's face.

He watched him walk away, eyes burning in his head as he had completely forgotten how to blink, Kevin's words lost on him through the sound of that voice playing on repeat through his head.

Sarah sniffled in his arms, her wet cheeks pressed into his neck, and he shook himself, grabbing the towel and wiping her dress; if he dry cleaned it, it would be as good as new.

"C'mon now, General, Daddy's sorry," he whispered to her, rubbing her back consolingly.

A loud sniffle was his only answer.

He took the towels from the waitress... At least, this one he didn't recognize as a male from his classes... And thanked her. "That... girl...?" He couldn't help the questioning note in his voice. "Who is... she?"

[Tammika]

Carla looked puzzled at the question. "The girl that helped you? I think it was Karen, she's the one that told me about the little accident here. I'll get you another tea or your..bill whichever you want right now." She smiled nervously, worried she was gonna get a crappy tip for this.

Kevin was in the bathroom and Jen came in to check on him. "Are you okay? You took off so fast... Oh my god what's wrong, girl? Why are you so pale? Do you know that guy?"

Kevin wiped his face on a towel still careful of the lip gloss. "Yes and no... it's complicated, to say the least but I think i may need to just leave for tonight." Probably permanently if the professor ratted him out. It was his own little place of joy where he could dress how he liked to without people freaking out and now it was over. It was a good paying job too.

"Okay if you feel that's what you need I'll tell Jim. Want me to walk you out?"

"No that's okay, I'll be fine."

"Alright. Tracey can cover your tables and I'll clock you out, just go on home sweetie. Okay?"

Kevin nodded, unable to find his voice and afraid he would cry. He didn't have to walk past the professor's table but he would be seen clearly by him if he was still there even though he went out the kitchen exit. He was sure to get a call from Carla on her next break.

[TruthSayer]

Karen... Jon blinked at that. He'd thought that all drag queens were named something outlandish, like Fleur D'Lee or Amanda Playwith. 'Karen' just seemed so... normal.

"I'll take the bill, thanks," Jon said, standing and fishing his wallet out of his back pocket as he transferred Sarah to one arm. He handed the woman forty, told her to keep the change, and walked away from the table, seeing Kevin- Karen? No, Jon had known him for nearly a semester as Kevin, and Kevin was what he was going to stay until further notice. Right, because that was just-

Ahem.

-seeing Kevin leave the restaurant from the corner of his eye. The kid looked ready to pass out or puke, Jon wasn't sure which. He stood for a moment in indecision, one part of him wanting to leave it and never discuss it again, another part of him remembering with sickening clarity what had happened in his home town when word got out that he was gay. The least Jon could do would be to tell Kevin that what was Kevin's business, was Kevin's business.

He headed out of the restaurant at a brisk walk, Sarah cradled against him, eyes searching the parking lot.

[Tammika]

Key keys keys.

Fuck fuck fuck!

They were hanging on the hook in the break room. He may dress like a girl, but he was not carrying a purse.. at least not yet. They were cute, but it was just not.. oh hell he had to go back for the damn keys. Kevin slapped his palm into his black Honda Civic and stomped back towards the restaurant.

...Only to run into his professor and the little girl.. his?

He stood frozen in place. Unable to go around and unable to look him directly in the eye and fighting the need to get a strand of hair out of his mouth. It was sicking to the tears he was denying were there and covering part of his mouth. "Just ...say what you need to say so I can go please." he was gonna cry and he didn't want to, not here, not in front of the entire world it seemed. He already was.

[TruthSayer]

Jon had no idea what to say. A million words ran through his mind, none of them making sense, and he shifted uncomfortably, shifting Sarah higher up on his hip. She peaked out at Kevin, shy in her distress over her dress.

"Daddy," she whispered, staring openly at Kevin now, her own tears dried little streaks on her cheeks, "She's crying."

And he was crying. The light in the parking lot wasn't good, casting much of it into shadow, but Kevin's cheeks glistened. Jon frowned, and shifted Sarah again, his father's ringing baritone in his head. Boy's don't cry!

But... at this moment, Kevin certainly didn't look like a boy.

"Do you..." Jon cleared his throat. It was late, already an hour past Sarah's bedtime, and Jon had staunch rules about hanging out with students, but... "Do you want to go get some coffee? Give you a chance to calm down a bit before you drive home?"

[Tammika]

"Um.. coffee? Uhh, sure.. okay."He probably looked like shit now and he didn't want the girls to baby him. He didn't want to explain anything to the professor either but here he was and he still needed his keys. Whatever. He might as well get it over with. "I have to go back and get my keys at least. I'll.. be right back."

He walked past him staying as far away as possible without running into a parked car and tucked the hair from his face when he thought he couldn't see. It took two minutes to get his keys and three "I'll be okays" and two "I'm fines" before he came back out.

Kevin walked up slowly, fiddling with his bracelet. A thought hit him and he remembered to take off his apron and name badge, tossing it in his car and then staring at his professor. The little girl was watching him and he smiled at her. She was adorable.

[TruthSayer]

"Daddy, why was she crying?" Sarah whispered, eyes tracking Kevin as he walked inside.

"No clue, General," Jon answered, wondering if that was entirely true. He took his keys out of his pocket and walked to his car, pressing the button on the remote to unlock the doors when he got there.

"Pretty ladies shouldn't cry," Sarah said, nodding firmly, and said louder, "Pretty ladies shouldn't cry," when Kevin approached them again.

The smile he wore for Sarah was a little forced when he put her in her booster and buckled her in, sliding in behind the wheel as he waited for Kevin to get in the car. The frown he wore now was one of uncertainty, his fingers tapping on the steering wheel in a rapid staccato that matched the flow of his thoughts.

He should have never extended that invitation. He was going to regret this. It was going to ruin his reputation at work as as heartless bastard, and students were going to start liking him now because Kevin was going to blab and there was no way he could act like a prick with Sarah with him, because she wouldn't understand and he didn't want her viewing him that way, anyway.

He jumped when he cranked the engine and the theme from Beauty and the Best burst forth from the stereo speakers. He turned the radio off, much to Sarah's displeasure, who had instantly begun to sing along, and glanced at Kevin he got in. "Where do you want to go?" he asked a bit flatly.