Don't Say My Name (Tam & Truth)

[Tammika]

He walked in that direction...slowly, hoping to meet up with one of her parents, though he had no idea who Arthur was. His brain tried to remember who was at her party but he drew a blank. "Wow you have all kinds of awesome stuff in there." He oohed and aahed over her bucket of treasure pulling a thoughtful face at her question. "Well, maybe some have seaweed hair, or just a little bit and not the whole head, but you are right Ariel didn't have seaweed hair." He should know, he'd seen it million times with his cousins.

[TruthSayer]

"I knew it," Sarah said with the decisiveness of someone who had just found out that she'd been poked fun at. She frowned a little, not happy with the thought, but grinned again. "My toes are pink!" she said, and straightened out the leg wrapped around Kevin's front to show him, toes wiggling proudly.

"SARAH!"

Sarah turned her head, grinned at her mother, and waved. "Look, Mommy! It's Karen!" She frowned, noticing the tears in her mother's eyes and the expression on her face. "Mommy, what's wrong?"

Melissa didn't give a rat's ass who Karen was at the moment. She ran up to her daughter, took her straight out of the woman's arms, and cradled her tightly against her chest, arms shaking. "Sarah Elizabeth Avery, don't you dare do that to me again!"

"Do what? Mommy, I can't breathe!" Sarah said, pushing against her mother's shoulders.

Melissa let her push away, and looked sternly into her face. "I thought Aurthur told you to stay where he could see you? What if you'd drown? What if you'd gotten lost, or kidnapped? Jesus, Sarah, don't do that to me again!"

Sarah's eyes filled with tears. She didn't understand why her mother was angry; she could see Aurthur's head just fine over the dunes. She hiccuped, large crystalline tears falling down her cheeks. "I'm s-sorry, Mommy!"

"Don't do it again," Melissa breathed, arms still shaking with relief and remembered terror as she clung to her daughter just as tightly, breathing in the fresh ocean scent of her hair, feeling her alive and sun-warm in her arms. "Just don't do it again."

She glanced up, and as if noticing the woman there for the first time, smiled a little weakly at her. "Thank you for finding her. I'm guessing she knows you...?"

[Tammika]

Kevin recognized the woman as Sarah's mother from the party, but was still shocked as Sarah was snatched from his arms. He hadn't done anything wrong but he instantly felt bad for the scared woman. In here state it was no wonder she didn't remember some random server from a birthday party.

"I'm sorry, I was wandering back the way she came.. Sarah just ran up to me so..I ..um.." The wind blew hair into his mouth and he pushed it back , tucking it behind his ear and nodding at Melissa's questioning statement. "I'm Karen, Sarah just remembers me from O'Charley's and the birthday party."

[TruthSayer]

"Birthday party?" Melissa questioned, frowning lightly in thought as she hitched Sarah higher onto her hip. Her face lit with recognition. "Oh! You were with the caterers! I'm Melissa, Sarah's mother," Melissa introduced herself. "Listen, I really want to thank you for your help with Sarah today. She-"

"MEL! SARAH!" Arthur skidded to a stop next to Melissa, naturally tan face ruddy with exertion and glowing with sweat as he bent double, hands on his knees as he gasped in air. "Why the hell didn't you call me?! I was scared out of my mind, Mel!"

"You should have been, you idiot," Melissa said, swatting him lightly on the shoulder as she frowned at him, then motioned to Kevin, smiling at him. "This is Karen. She found Sarah for us."

"Karen?" Arthur panted, and stood to his full height. It was not impressive; he was no taller than Melissa's diminutive 5'6" frame. Recognition hit him immediately and he reached out, taking Kevin's hand in both of his own as he shook it rapidly. "Thank you, Karen. Thank you so much! I don't know what I would have done if we hadn't found Sarah."

"Been dead and buried in the back yard," Melissa put it with a dour look at Arthur, and a sunny smile at Kevin.

"Are you here with friends?" Arthur asked, craning his neck to look over Kevin's shoulder, and, without waiting for her to answer, said, "Have you eaten? We're having a barbeque at the house and you're more than welcome to come. You will come, won't you? As a proper thank you from Mel and me. Your friends can come, too, if you'd like. Please say you'll come?" Still holding Kevin's hand, he looked hopefully into Kevin's face, nodding slightly as if that would make up his mind for him.

Melissa glanced at her husband, hoisted Sarah higher onto her hip, and looked at Kevin expectantly. "You may as well say yes. He won't stop bothering you until you do. It's how we met, you know. I helped him change a tire and he bothered me for a month before I agreed to let him take me to a movie as thanks."

"It's true," Arthur said, rather seriously. "I will become your stalker if you don't agree to come home with me."

"Karen's coming over?" Sarah asked, voice still tearful, as she lifted her face from her mother's neck and looked at Kevin hopefully.

[Tammika]

Kevin glanced from Melissa to the man pumping his arm like crazy and finally Sarah, which was the deal maker. There was no way he could deny those sad yet hopeful eyes. He was a sucker for acute pouty face.

"No I haven't eaten.. I'm not ...with anyone, most of my friends took off for spring break, so I'm just relaxing by myself." Most of his friends totally abandoned him once they knew he was bi, but he wasn't sharing that detail. He was nervous. Wondering if he should try and worm out of it. If Jon showed up it would be beyond awkward, but with Arthur there Kevin was guessing there was the slimmest of chances he would. He tucked his hair behind his ear again, more out of nerves than need, but finally decided.

"Yeah..I guess I could. That would be great, but don't think you have to thank me. I was just here and she came to me. That was nothing special... really."

[TruthSayer]

"Honey, when you're a mother, you'll understand exactly how special that was," Melissa said, hiking Sarah up farther onto her hip. "Now. Sarah and I are going to pack up our things, and we'll meet you at the car." She smiled at Kevin, sent another look at Arthur, and turned away, talking to her daughter quietly as she disappeared over the dunes.

Arthur grinned at Kevin, released his hand, and pointed toward the parking lot. "I call shotgun," he said, winking playfully.

--

The reason why Jon and Melissa had bought the houses they did was because they were direct neighbors, Melissa on the right, Jon on the left. The first thing they'd done after moving in was tear down the six-foot oak privacy fence that separated their back yards, and erect an impressive swing set for a daughter that wasn't to be born for another three months. Outside, their houses looked relatively cookie-cutter, in a neighborhood where all front lawns were clipped to exactly one-inch, rose and rhododendron bushes never rose higher than a yard, and several of the older ladies dotted throughout the neighborhood had virtual civilizations of colorful concrete gnomes inhabiting their yards. A lively park across the street, speed bumps that kept the speed limit to a reserved ten miles per hour, and a seven-feet tall wrought iron black fence surrounding the homes to keep the riffraff out allowed parents to raise their children with a feeling of safety and community.

As Jon stood in his back yard, heating up the grill after Melissa's call thirty minutes ago that they were on their way, he felt calm and relaxed in a way that he hadn't in weeks as he listened to the scream and banter of children all around him, hidden from view from his and Melissa's fence. The tantalizing scents of a dozen barbeques assailed him on the soft afternoon breeze. Frank Senatra sang Fly Me to the Moon]i\ over the speakers inconspicuously hanging from the rafters of Jon's back porch, his foot tapping absentmindedly along with the swingers beat as he cleaned the grill, glancing toward Melissa's closed french doors as he heard a car door slam, Sarah's laughter drowning out the gritty shift of vinyl records as the music shifted from Frank to Louis Armstrong's [i]When You're Smiling. Two more door slams and Jon flicked the hamburgers on the grill, keeping his veggie burger far away from the sizzling meat of the others, whistling along with the trumpet.

It was the sound of a fourth door closing that made Jon pause.

[Tammika]

Playing with Sarah in the backseat reminded him of how much he missed his nieces and car trips with he family even though it was just a short drive to their house. It felt so family like he was sure to get the eye from Melissa for being too loud or something, but nothing of the sort happened, even after sing along with all the Disney song extremely loud... and off key on a few of them to make her laugh harder. Switching the words around was the big hit though and made her giggle still as they hopped out of the car.

Kevin was happy as he held Sarah's hand and followed the clan into the house. His nerves tingled. With the way Jon had treated him the other day, he'd probably be pissed at him for daring to spend time with his family. He wouldn't have been here if Sarah hadn't come along so there wasn't much he could do about it. Occasionally his worried thoughts reached his face, but he tried to keep it to a minimum, passing it off as just being the awkward and nervous guest.

He asked where the bathroom was as soon as they got inside and hurried along to it as soon as he was shown. Once inside he stared at himself in the mirror, mumbling to himself as he fussed with hi windblown hair, opting to twist it up the bulk of it in a quick loop dangling high on his head, leaving enough to fall around his shoulders but not in his face. With a sigh and more lip gloss he deemed himself presentable again and exited to find where everyone had gone off to. "Hello?"

[TruthSayer]

Jon glared down at Melissa with a look that held every wish that her hair would start on fire from will alone. She glared right back at him, arms crossed over her petite chest, chin raised stubbornly.

"If it weren't for her, who knows what would have happened?"

And that was what bothered Jon the most. Sarah had been lost, and he was angry enough at Mel and Arthur over that. And there was a certain debt of gratitude toward Kevin for making sure she was safe, even if it was Sarah who had approached him.

But, damn it all, Jon would have been more than happy to throw Kevin out on the street than to offer him supper and a beer.

"She's a student, Melissa," he growled, hands gripping his upper arms hard where he had them crossed over his chest. He leaned closer, hidden beneath the eave of the porch where he'd dragged Melissa as soon as he'd heard exactly who it was she had invited to dinner. "A fucking student!"

"I don't give a shit, Jon," Melissa answered him flatly, anger sparking in her eyes as she very gently gripped the front of his white tee shirt; he didn't trust her gentility for one hot second. "Karen was kind enough to keep an eye on your daughter while she-"

"While you let her wander off," Jon interrupted. If he'd been in a better frame of mind, he'd have flinched at the way her fingers gripped his shirt, so tightly her knuckles turned white.

"Yes," Mel said, voice carefully controlled, eyes burning furiously. "Yes, while I let her wander off. But Karen kept her safe. And if you think for one second I'm going to let that kind of kindness go with just a 'thank you', you're wrong. I understand your aversion to having a student in your home, but we are not in your home. We are in our yard, and I am having a guest over. If you don't like it, you can order a cheese pizza and watch the Barbara Streisand marathon on HBO. If you feel like being social - and so help me God, Jon, you had better be damn social - you are more than welcome to join the barbeque as planned."

Then she grinned, a bright sunny grin that in no way dimmed the warning in her eyes. "Now, I'm going to bring out the potato salad, and by the smell of things, those burgers are due to come of the grill in about five minutes. Let Arthur know your decision so he knows whether or not he's the one that's going to be pulling them off."

Jon watched her walk away, the hem of her yellow sundress swaying around her legs as her bare feet pressed prints into the grass. For a moment, he couldn't move. For a moment, he couldn't breathe around the incredulity of her betrayal.

For a moment, all he could hear was the loud burst of his daughter's ringing laughter as Arthur swung her around in large circles, one pink little flip flop flying off to land five feet away from her in the grass.

That sound would always he be his undoing, his ultimate cave-in point, and he dropped his head into his hand, pinching the bridge of his nose harshly as he made his way back over to the grill and opened the lid, flipping the burgers with more force than was entirely necessary; he almost lost one to the brick patio, cursed lightly, then grinned, wishing the patty had met with the ground. See how Karen would like a little extra roughage with her meal.

His back tensed at the tentative 'hello' behind him, shoulders bunching in edgy irritation as he heard Melissa's bright reply and kind welcome for Karen to make herself at home. He wanted to look over his shoulder, wanted to demand that the abominable thing get the fuck out of his house...

But when Sarah left playing with Arthur to run up to Kevin; when she grabbed his hand and tugged insistently on it, leading him over to her pile of outside toys and began showing him her favorites... Jon felt a tingle of guilt at his earlier wish that Kevin's patty had ended up on the ground.

[Tammika]

Yes, there was fear there when he stepped out into the back yard and saw Jon there. Yes, he did grow deathly pale and choke in the middle of his sentence to Melissa. Yes, he was thankful for the glass of water though he barely got a sip before Sarah was tugging him off to look at every toy she owned it seemed, but of all the things to think of..he felt horribly under dressed in front of Jon, along with feeling sick to his stomach and terrified. He set the glass down on the table and clutched the bruises on his arms hidden by the thin shrug he wore, standing beside Sarah and listening as she passionately described each item.

He turned and glance Jon's direction when he thought he might be calm enough to handle it. Wrong! he snapped his head back around, eyes wide for a few seconds as he refocused don Sarah. "yeah that sounds like..wait do what?" he wasn't sure if he could last the whole time like this. he really should just talk to the man but now it seemed too many things had been added to it and frankly Kevin was scared of him, more scared of him permanently thinking ill of him more than anything else. He was stupid to even entertain himself with liking the man, like a student teacher relationship was any better than the whole gay scandal thing, but even with reason telling him to give up and this whole misunderstanding, he didn't want to. It was a moot point though. The man couldn't stand him and Kevin knew he considered him a liar. Kevin sighed and rubbed a hand on his temple. Just make it through the day, then maybe .. he should start thinking about getting his class changed... something.

[TruthSayer]

A part of Jon, as he sat the plate of burgers on the picnic table next to the bowl of potato salad and condiments, wished fervently that he hadn't quit smoking five years ago, because he could certainly use one now. His movements were jerky, irritated, and every time Arthur skirted around him, or Melissa gave him one of her simperingly sweet smiles, he felt like breaking something.

He called Sarah over to the table, probably a bit more harshly than he otherwise would have spoken to her, and caught the sharp look Melissa shot at him with an ambivalence that was almost as good as putting his middle finger in her face. Almost, but not quite.

He slouched into his seat, arms resting on the polished oak of the table top, fingers of one hand tapping restlessly as he resolutely did not look in Kevin's direction. He stabbed the only veggie burger from the plate before anyone else could inadvertently grab it, and a hamburger for Sarah as he set about preparing her plate.

Melissa and Arthur sat on one side, leaving Sarah between Jon and Kevin on the other. Jon scooted just slightly toward the edge of the bench, ignoring the careful warning glance Melissa sent his way, but reading everything it carried as though she were an open book.

And no matter what that look said, Jon was not sulking.

"So, Karen," Melissa said brightly, offering him the plate of burgers after sitting. "Tell me about school. You must be relieved to have the semester over."

"Got any hot dates planned?" Arthur put in, grinning widely as he passed Kevin the potato salad.

[Tammika]

Sitting as far away from Jon as possible, like in the grass a few yards away...wasn't possible. Sarah insisted upon sitting beside him, so he gave in, not wanting to cause a fuss. If this wasn't him this whole situation would be hilarious, but the trembling of his hands was not funny.

"Uh.. yeah. My dad was happy I aced all my exams. He wanted me to come home to celebrate but I need to work. Scholarship or not , students are poor, at least this one is." He made his plate, not putting very much on it. The fear of puking from his nervous stomach was not an appealing thought even though the food, especially the potato salad, looked delicious. The ketchup slipped out of his hand at the mention of a hot date. "Maybe later in the week when every one comes back, I'm going with some friends to the spring festival but no..no hot dates. I don't really date. No time really, with work and classes and swimming." And the object of his desire thinking he was the lowest scum of the earth...yeah, his life was hopeless. A sadness washed over him at that thought and he just gave a shrug and a small fake smile. This was eating at him and he just wanted this to be over as soon as possible.

[TruthSayer]

"I wonder why..." Jon muttered waspishly, white plastic fork twiddling little abstract designs in the potato salad, when Kevin mentioned not going on many dates. He imagined it must be rather difficult to explain to a guy when he got to third base why he was gripping a cock instead of fingering a cunt.

The rather sharp barefooted kick aimed at his shin made him jump, and he shot a venomous glare at Melissa, who was smiling at Kevin, ignoring Jon completely. At least, that's what she would have everyone else at the table believe. Jon recognized the careful tightness at the corner of her eyes, the slightly stiff set to her lips as she smiled.

"You listen to me, young lady," Arthur said, pointing his own plastic fork at Kevin to punctuate his point. "You gotta make time for romance! You're young, pretty, and have to be pretty damn- crap. Sorry, Sarah," he said, giving the little girl an apologetic smile for the slip of his tongue; Sarah, who was currently attempting to find out how much hamburger she could fit into her mouth at one time, wasn't paying attention. "Anyway. You've got to be smart to make it in Johnny's class, at least. But college ain't all about brains."

"I suppose you would have her partying all night so hard she comes to class drunk?" Jon asked, scoffing lightly. "She needs the study time, believe me." Although that wasn't true. Kevin's GPA in his class was one of the highest of the year.

"You need to shut up," Melissa told him, voice as sweet as cherry pie with a smile to match as she turned her head slightly to glance at him.

[Tammika]

The compliment was actually more special to him than Arthur would ever know. He wasn't full of himself and he knew he could pass as a girl but he never really thought of himself as pretty. He wiped his mouth, covering half his face with his napkin even though there was no need to, he faked it anyway totally embarrassed such a thing could make him blush. "Thank you but... I'm it.. if it happens it does. I've kinda given up in that area." More than they knew.

Jon's comment made Kevin's brows furrow in concern. He had aced his test but there were a couple of areas he felt he could do better on. He worried that the comment meant that Jon thought he wasn't working hard enough and was not only a liar but a slacker too? His head was starting to hurt with all the worrying and hiding his emotions was getting harder. "I don't drink!" That came out louder than he intended and he immediately apologized. "Sorry, I just.... I'm not really feeling to well." Or welcome. "Can I just.. will someone give me a ride home?" Kevin stood not even daring to look in Jon's direction. All he had to do was keep it together a few more minutes then he could go home and wallow in misery all by himself. "Um.. I need to go to the bathroom." he headed that way before anyone else spoke. There was no way in hell he was going to cry in front of everyone, but he had a feeling Melissa had already picked up on it.

[TruthSayer]

Arthur blinked. "Not even a wine cooler?"

"Sure, honey, we'll get you home," Melissa said kindly, knowing concern in her eyes as she watched Kevin's retreat.

Then she turned a positively incandescent gaze on Jon. "Arthur, dear. Would you please take Sarah inside and clean her up for me? Use Jon's bathroom."

"Huh?" Arthur said, the light frown in his face as he turned to his wife letting her know that he knew something was wrong, though he wasn't entirely certain what it was. "Yeah, sure. Come on, sweets! Let's get that ketsup off your face."

Jon felt suddenly and entirely exposed, like an ant beneath the murderous light of a magnifying glass as Melissa waited until Arthur disappeared inside with Sarah. Then, her smile dropped, the fingers of both hands splaying out on the table top as she leaned forward over the table, and Jon found himself leaning back.

"I cannot believe you," she whispered. "I cannot believe how rude you are being, how down right cruel. I've known you to be a lot of things, Jon, but cruel has never been one of them. What the hell are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that she's a student!" Jon hissed back, just as quietly. "I'm thinking that you've brought a student to invade my home-"

"My home! My backyard!" Melissa spat at him. "I have never, in all the years I have known you, been so fucking angry at you as I am right now." And Jon knew it to be true in that sentence right there; Melissa never said 'fuck', in any variation of the word. She was standing now, leaning over the table, her palms planted on either side of the platter half-full with burgers, eyes burning. "Do you realize that that little girl is inside right now probably crying eyes out? Because of you?"

"That 'little girl' is not a little girl!" Jon bit, eyes wide as the words left him, guilt flooding him in their wake even though his words could be taken in any number of ways. Guilt, because he was pretty sure Melissa was right about Kevin's crying. And guilt, because despite how much Jon disliked him, it was not his place to reveal Kevin's secret. Not like this.

Melissa's nostrils flared. "I am well aware of that."

"Excuse me?"

The laugh she gave was short and derisive, though the bitterness in the sound was not toward Kevin. "Not many women have square shoulders and an Adam's apple, Jon. But what right do you have to look down on her because of that? What gives you the right to be so high and mighty? Last time I checked, you were not Jesus Christ! And even Jesus Christ loved the whores, beggers, and cross dressers- shut your mouth, dammit!"

Jon, who had been about to say that he in no way compared himself to the Son of God, shut his mouth with an audible snap. Melissa was leaning so far over the table by now, her arms straight, her back rigid, that she looked about two seconds from crawling on top of it.

"And let me tell you this, Jon. You will take her home. And you will apologize for your abhorrent behavior, and you will be nice, because, so help me, if I find out you said one wrong thing to her, if you behaved in any way that is not due to a guest in my fucking house, I will castrate you with a melon baller!"

And then she was gone, striding off across the lawn to her house in her bare feet and sun dress like an avenging sprite, leaving Jon blinking after her in shock.

Melissa stopped once she was safely inside her house, hands balled into fists at her sides, breathing deeply through her nose. She gave her body a shake, attempting to get the tension and shaking anger under control, and put a kind smile on her face, walking to the guest bathroom's closed door.

"Karen?" she asked, knocking lightly. "Are you alright, dear?"

[Tammika]

He washed his face with cold water a third time and was drying it when he heard Melissa's voice. He felt guilty, for bringing his drama and throwing it in her lap. The concern in her voice only made him feel worse. No point in hiding it though. Women were much more perceptive than men with emotional things, he had learned that a long time ago.

He opened the door instead of answering right away and gave her a weak smile. He had pulled his bangs up and pinned them on top of his head so he could wash his face and didn't bother taking it out. He wasn't feeling very pretty anymore anyway. " Um, yeah I just think I should go home now. I don't feel to good. It's just a headache though. I think... I think i just got a little too much sun." It didn't even sound convincing to him but he sad it anyway. he did after all have a headache... a Jon induced headache.

[TruthSayer]

Melissa smiled in sad understanding, apology in her eyes as she stood to the side to allow Kevin room to pass. "The sun has been known to do that, yes," she said.

"Karen..." Melissa laid a hand on his forearm, a slight frown on her face. "I wanted you to know that despite Jon's perpetual ability to be an ass, you are welcome here. Anytime, okay?"

"Are you ready yet?"

The flat question had Melissa's eyes burning with anger as she shot Jon a look to where he stood by the open front door, keys jangling in agitation in his hand. The carefully blank look he gave her let her know that he'd heard what she'd said, something she was glad for; it meant she didn't have to tell him later.

Melissa looked back at Kevin, kind smile on her face. "If he's mean to you, let me know." She patted Kevin's arm once, then headed into the backyard.

[Tammika]

"Okay.. and thanks. You guys are really great, I really had fun. And Sarah is a doll."

He flinched at the sound of Jon's voice , though he tried hard not to, but it was a natural reaction to the sharpness of his words versus Melissa soft understanding voice. A small part of him felt he should give in and talk to somebody, but the moment had passed and now he had to suck it up and brace himself for the ride home. The ride of doom with doctor pain in the ass at the wheel.

"Yeah, I'm ready." he mumbled and didn't look at Jon. As he walked past him to the front door he did his best not to even touch him.

[TruthSayer]

In the three blocks it took Jon to drive out of his neighborhood through the tall gates at its entrance, the only sound in the car was the low melody of Ray Charles singing Georgia on My Mind, turned down to near-silence. Jon gripped the wheel with his right hand, his left bunched into a loose fist he rested his forehead against as he propped his elbow on the open window, the pose effectively causing him to lean as far away from Kevin as he could manage in the tight space.

Tension ran as strong as the silence, and dammit of Melissa hadn't been right; in the split second Jon had managed to glimpse Kevin's face as he passed him out of the house, Kevin's eyes had been slightly red. Guilt niggled.

"Right or left?" he asked succinctly as he pulled to a stop at the stop sign directly outside the gates.

[Tammika]

Kevin jerked every pin and the elastic from his hair and let it fall around his face like a dark curtain, effectively shielding his expression and blotchy red face from Jon. It would not surprise him to be attacked for having emotions or something, but in spite of it he did glance in his general direction a few times only to drop his head back down and try not to make a single sound. He didn't even want to look out the window and let anyone see him like this.

"Left... I live in Devonshire Apartments on the other side of the mall." His voice told the story, there was no way he could even fake being remotely happy at the moment, but he could careless, he wanted out of the car as much as Jon wanted him out most likely.

[TruthSayer]

"Hn. Not bad apartments for student living," Jon muttered, turning left. He'd never been into them, but they were highly recommended by the school for those who didn't wish, or could not afford, to live in the dorms, and they were four miles away from Jon's house.

Four miles of stop lights, stop signs, and traffic to make the already horrible trip that much more horrible. And the silence, which Jon normally did not mind, was starting to make him twitch.

"Melissa says I should apologize to you," he said, somewhat derisively, a hard little smirk on his lips.