Don't Say My Name (Tam & Truth)

[Tammika]

"Yeah, you're absolutely right." But he wasn't a pretty lady, he would cry to his hearts content and scream too... when he got home. He dropped into the passenger seat and fastened up. He grinned when the music came on, it was sweet that he was so good his little girl. He already had a taste of the kindness so this wasn't too much of a surprise. He was a dad. If he acted like he did at school towards his daughter, then that would have been just..evil.

"There's a Jumpin' Java one block up. You don't... have to do this. I know this is really awkward and I'm not... " He couldn't finish a sentence he was shaking and he couldn't think of a single funny thing to say to laugh it all off. Kevin turned towards the window and chewed on his thumb nail. It was impossible to look the man in the eye. He didn't want to see the look on his face when he looked at him the way he was. the disgust he would see would be stuck in his head forever.

[TruthSayer]

"What kind of teacher would I be if I let my student drive home crying so hard he can barely see the road?" Jon muttered, and pulled out into traffic. Not that Kevin was crying that hard, but the tears were still there. "Just... calm down, alright? I'm not going to bite you."

The drive was a quick one, thank goodness, because if Jon had to sit in that car one more second, he was going to scream. He climbed out of the car and opened Sarah's door for her, automatically taking her hand as they walked into the Jumpin' Java. He stood in front of the counter, eyes tracking the menu.

"Want some coffee, General?" he asked Sarah, a joking little smile on his face as he glanced down at her.

"No," his daughter answered, shaking her head. "Uncle Jack says it'll turn my titties black."

Jon was going to murder Jack in his sleep. He pinched the bridge of his nose and knelt down in front of his daughter, looking at her seriously. "Do you remember those words we're not supposed to say?" he asked. When Sarah nodded, he said, "'Titties' is one of them. Never, ever repeat anything Uncle Jack says, okay?"

Sarah's face scrunched up, contemplation written all over her. "Does Uncle Jack owe me a dollar?"

"Yes. Yes, he does."

Sarah's grin was massive. "I want chocolate milk!"

[Tammika]

"Thanks." He couldn't say anything else.

He trailed behind Jon, taking a minute to dry his face. Who knew what people would think and he didn't want to make him look bad, dragging some weird looking crying girlboy thing into a coffee shop. He knew he passed as a girl just fine, but there was always that one time that some may figure it all out. Someone else from school, God forbid. It was a risk he already decided was worth it.

The exchange between father and daughter was hilarious., the perfect dose of funny he needed. He lived off jokes and funny moments some days

He cringed when the guy behind the counter called him by a nickname he had picked up. "Hey Carebear! Plain coffee for you as usual?" He looked back and forth from the professor to Kevin, to the little girl, the question in his eyes obvious. "Not hanging with Jen And Carla tonight?" Quit digging you nosey little ass!

"No, I got off early, they're still working till late... but yeah just plain coffee."

"You got it Carebear." And shut up!

Kevin was ready to go hide in a booth or under a bus, a moving bus. More craziness to explain.

[TruthSayer]

Jon gave the man behind the counter a flat look at his questioning perusal, not liking the implication there, and handed him a credit card. "I'll take a chai tea and a chocolate milk with a lid and a straw," he said. "You do deliver to the table, right?" He didn't wait for an answer, but grabbed an appropriate looking magazine for Sarah to look through and sat at one of the cast-iron bistro tables in front of the large front window, pulling over an extra chair for Kevin from the one behind him, placing straight across from him.

"Here," he said, and handed Sarah the magazine. Her eyes lit up at the pretty lady on the cover, and she flipped it open, fingers going over the words inside as though she knew exactly what they said.

He looked at Kevin when he sat down, light frown on his face as he attempted to figure out what to say. He wasn't especially good at small talk, preferring the more direct method overall, but the more direct method in this circumstance would mean asking why the hell Kevin was in a skirt and bra that had to be stuffed, and Jon didn't want to know.

He tapped his finger on the iron weave table top. "So..." he said, chewing on the inside of his cheek. His finger tapped faster.

[Tammika]

"So, what? I like to dress like this. It's not exactly socially acceptable for me to wear this to school, and no," He leaned in closer and lowered his voice. "No I don't want to be a girl... I just like... it. Like looking like one." He shifted nervously. Yeah I'm bi too, was his next though, but he didn't say it. He didn't want to add anything else ...just yet. It was probably a given anyway. He was surprised the man was letting him near his little girl. "Yeah I know. I'm a freak." He whispered. "Are you gonna make me quit? Tell people... about....about this."

[TruthSayer]

That was a lot of information Jon didn't want. He lifted his hands in surrender, glancing around them anxiously for familiar faces he did not want recognizing his, but they were an hour away from school, and the only one he knew that lived this far out was the Dean of Academics, a crotchety old man who was in bed by 8:30, Jon was sure of it.

"First of all, I didn't ask you a dam- darn thing," Jon said quietly, glancing down at Sarah, who talked quietly to a picture of Pink, oblivious. "Second, the only one calling you a freak here is you. I'll admit this is a little strange, but not freakish. Third, why in the hel- heck would I make you quit or tell anyone about this? This is your business, not mine. You could dress up as the Purple People Eater every Saturday night and dance the conga alone in your apartment, and I wouldn't care. I do not want to know, and this-" he made a wide motion, indicating the entire night, "-never happened. Monday morning you come into my class on time, wearing whatever heck you want, and we never speak of this again. Got it?"

[Tammika]

"You don't want to know...?" The words weren't loud, but it was what he said that made him flinch. "...Then why am I sitting her feeling like a f-...idiot?" In front of the sexiest man on the planet that now will avoid me like the plague.

"You know I ...should have went home. Why-" Daniel came with their orders cutting a glance at Kevin's sad face and looking at Jon like a mass murderer. He put a hand on his shoulder and smiled. "If you need anything just let me know, okay, Karen."

"Thanks Dan, I will." He had the urge to bite that hand or stand up and knock him across the room, but he held perfectly still, stiff even, until he moved it and walked away.

Kevin ran his hand through his hair feeling more and more awkward by the minute. "Look sorry, I thought you were asking. Sharing coffee usually means talking and I just.. well this is just awkward and I'm sorry my weird little world crashed into yours. I can just take this to go."

[TruthSayer]

Jon felt his hands tighten into fists at Dan's invasive approach, jaw flexing as he clenched his teeth at his look. Jon was a pacifist by nature, but at the moment, he would have gladly knocked Dan's teeth out.

He frowned, arms crossing over his chest as he looked at Kevin. "I didn't ask you here to pry," he said, keeping his voice low. "If I had wanted to know anything about you, I would have asked you straight out. I don't believe in beating around the bush, and frankly, I could care less." Which was a flat out lie; he cared a great deal about his students, especially ones that he'd made genuinely cry, and though it most certainly felt like it, he was unsure as to exactly how tonight was his fault. "I don't care why you like to pretty yourself up with lip gloss and sparkly bobby pins. I don't care if you wear women's panties and parade around at night with a mask of green mud on your face to keep the pimples and the wrinkles away. I asked you here because I was worried about you driving home while crying, unable to properly to see the road because of mascara running into your eyes. But now that your eyes are dry, I suggest you do leave, before I say anything I'm going to regret."

[Tammika]

"But I'm not wearing mascara."

It was the first thought that came to him amid all the words that Jon poured out at him, but he tilted his head to the side and stared at him for and blinked twice. Not some flirty blink, but a genuine "well whatdoya know?" blink. He noticed my bobbypin and my lipgloss and he said I was pretty... hello?! Hidden compliments amongst the Professor Prick rant?

Kevin stood up. "Thanks, professor. It was very nice of you to sit with me. I'm feeling much better after your kind encouraging words. I'll take your sage advice and go... before I say something I regret. Oh wait, I already did. Everything." He gave him a sarcastically sweet smile and softened it when he looked at his daughter. "You are just too precious. You make sure he's a good boy, and here this is for you." he handed her a dollar out of the change he still had in his hands. And as he walked away he kissed his middle finger and saluted Jon. "See ya Monday." With that he walked out. just after the door closed, Daniel slipped from behind the counter and followed.

[TruthSayer]

"Daddy, look!" Sarah beamed, holding up a crumple bill for Jon to see. "A dollar! Can I have a gum? Daddy, I want a gum!"

Jon was way past being able to answer his daughter at the moment. A muscle in his cheek jumped. His shoulders shook, and if he clenched his fists any harder, his nails were going to bite through his palms.

Little shit. Jon should have let him drive home, get into a massive wreck, and die, and then he wouldn't have to see him in class on Monday. Wouldn't have to picture him in a ridiculous skirt and a pink shirt that was so wrong for his skin color it should be burned.

And that little parting gesture? Jon grinned and relaxed, slouching down in his chair as he put his hands behind his head. Kevin was going to regret that, Jon would make sure of it.

[Tammika]

It was just a block to walk back to his car, no big deal, he needed to think anyway. He was torn between the rudeness of the professors words and the compliments. He wasn't sure if he should really call it that. The way he spoke it was all probably just mocking him, a big joke. He was used to that, it was why he kept it all a secret anyway.

"Karen?!" Kevin turned to see Daniel jogging across the parking lot after him. "You okay? That guy, I'm sorry I wouldn't ask if you didn't look so upset. Is he..? He's kinda.. old.. for you-"

Kevin held up his hand to stop the conversation. "I'm fine, really Daniel, just don't worry about it okay?"

"But if you need a ride somewhere..."

"I'm just walking back to O'Charley's to get my car. It's a nice night. I'll be fine." Kevin had spread his arms out and shrugged and Daniel caught one of his arms and pulled. "Hey!"

"I'm just concerned about you is all, Carebear."

"Look. We're in a public place, beside a highway. And you, look like a rapist, you're kinda acting like one too. Let go of me or you will regret it." Kevin glared at him until his grip loosened. It would have been real easy for Kevin to beat his ass right there in the parking lot, but he held back, God it took an army of strength to hold back.

"Okay I get it. But don't come in here and expect me to be nice after this. You're nothing but a slut, Karen, a tease."

Kevin laughed. "You're fucking kidding me! I reject your sorry ass and I'm a slut now? The reasoning of losers astounds me!" He growled and waved his hands in the air and then turned away walking down the road. He had to walk away or he would hit him.

[TruthSayer]

Jon finished his tea, sipping it slowly even though Sarah had polished off her chocolate milk long ago, and contemplated exactly how he could turn around Monday's lecture to make Kevin Jacobs look like a fool; Jon hadn't had such wonderful day dreams since high school.

Sarah's sudden weight against his arm jogged him from thought, and when he glanced down at her, it was to find her fast asleep. Jon smiled at her; it was way past her bedtime, and just because Daddy was having fun plotting the downfall of a fool didn't mean she should be forced to sleep the night away in a Jumpin' Java.

He took Kevin's dollar out of her lax little hand and stuffed it into his pocket, pulled her into his arms and stood, Sarah snuggling into his chest with a sigh as her thumb found her mouth and she sucked quietly on it. He walked out onto the street, nodding a quick thank you to the woman who held the door for him, and walked the short block to his car with out incident, although Dan walking the opposite direction gave him a look that made him shift Sarah to the arm that would get her the farthest away from him.

Kevin's car was gone by the time Jon unlocked his own, something Jon entirely expected to feel thankful for. The feeling of mild disappointment was an unwanted and confusing surprise.

[Tammika]

Monday found him sitting in his class fifteen minute early as usual and as usual cutting up with Shin who as attempting to put him in a headlock among the cheers of the three other student hanging around. It as routine normal, as if he didn't even have the fear in the pit of his stomach that Professor Pick was going to share his "hobbies" with the world.... but he did. he couldn't eat that morning, nor did he all day the day before other than a serving of fries at his job.

Kevin was acting normal, but he didn't look normal, but nobody said anything other than Shin, which Kevin brushed off the paleness and the bags as overkill on the swimming practice, which was true, to a point. He would have to eat lunch today, and he would after he survived this class. Couldn't train without fuel, and coach would kill him if he nursed out on him today.

[TruthSayer]

"You met someone."

"No, I did not."

"Can't fool a fool, Jon-Boy. You met someone."

Jon closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, attempting very hard to remember exactly why it was wrong to throw one's stapler at one's coworker. The reason kept dancing father and father out of reach the more Jack opened his mouth.

"I'm guessing... Tall. Ruggedly handso- No. That's not you're type," Jack continued, leaning back in his chair with his head nearly in Jon's lap as he tapped his unshaven shin thoughtfully. "Medium height, willowy build, not old enough to shaAAAHHH!!"

Jon took his foot out of the spoke of Jack's chair and stood, papers tucked under one arm as he glared down at him. The look of shock in his face when Jon kicked his chair out from under him was comical, and one that bore repeating at least once more in his life.

"A straight man shouldn't even know the definition of 'willowy'," Jon said as he left their office, "Think about that for a minute."

He entered his class as though he were a five-star general entering a brief and slammed his ten pound teacher's copy of Anatomy and Physiology 110 on the podium at the front of the class, the bang loud enough to make several students jump and all talking cease. Jon smiled sweetly at them, eyes lingering on each and every one of them except Kevin, whom he skipped over as if he wasn't even there. "It is now 7:00, ladies and gentlemen. Care to explain to me exactly why your asses are not in your seats?"

[Tammika]

"Good morning sunshine," Shin mumbled, letting go of Kevin and slumping into seat. Kevin was already sitting but he had to put his hair back into the loop at the nae of his neck, half of it came out in the headlock, since he did a little trimming in the front. Cutting his hair himself had become a fun skill he was quickly progressing at and now it fell in layers around his face when it was all out.

Adjusted and eyes up front he was semi prepared for evilness from the professor, but the man didn't even look at him. This fact both pleased and annoyed him, but he ignored it, not even rising to the lovely bait of why half the class was still goofing around. They were always goofing around, but throwing out a sarcastic remark was not in his best interest. A few were surprised he didn't. He planned to remain under the radar. Adapt and survive, adapt and survive.

[TruthSayer]

"Sit down and shut up!" Jon barked, though most of the class had already found their seats and those that hadn't were pushing and shoving each other toward them.

"We're going to do things a little differently today," he said, still smiling. "Today, I'm going to call on members of the class, and they are going to teach me from the reading material that has been assigned thus far during our time together this semester. Call it a verbal pop quiz." A majority of the class groaned, and Jon's smile widened as his gaze skipped over them, finally coming to land on Kevin.

"Mr. Jacobs. Explain to me the negative feedback loop, and why it is important to know about the negative feedback loop in sports medicine. Don't forget to provide examples."

[Tammika]

Oh he had a lovely example of a negative feedback loop, but he didn't think the one he was thinking of had much to do with what was in the textbook. Fuuuck. He had studied, he new the material, but he was exhausted and stumbled through it. Right answers, great examples, but he said um so many times he wanted to tell himself to shut up.

Class travel by at a snails pace and he just barely managed not to fall asleep. That would have been asking for it. When it was over he shuffled to the door trying to think of a place to catch a twenty minute nap before his next class. If he played it right he could get a great spot in the library.

"Yo, Fish, so slow. Hope you don't swim like that today, I may actually beat you. This is good. Tired Fish means the Shin will win."

"That was lame. Beyond lame." Kevin snorted.

Shin trotted on not wanting to move as slowly as Kevin and hustled out of the class.

[TruthSayer]

Jon's pop quiz had left the class lethargic, some of those he'd called on toward the end looking at him stupidly for a moment before the questions he'd asked finally sunk in and they'd stuttered out the answers. All-in-all, the class had done remarkably well with only a couple getting a fail for the day, although Jon felt like if he heard 'um', 'uh', and 'erm' one more time, he was going to scream.

All but one student had nearly run for the door when the bell rang, most of them not even taking the time to properly zip their bags before leaping toward the hall, papers hanging dangerously close to falling out of them. Normally, Jon would have given a little smile at that, but he felt... irritated. He supposed he could blame that irritation on it being Kevin that was the only one left in his class, but that wasn't entirely the case. Kevin looked...

"You want to tell me why you look like shit?" Jon asked, walking through the isles and pushing the stools beneath the lab tables. He glanced at Kevin from the corner of his eye, watching the tired slump of his shoulders, the unhealthy pallor in his cheeks.

Nothing wrong with a teacher showing concern, right?

[Tammika]

Kevin rolled his eyes and snorted, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Is that a joke? Or am I actually supposed to answer that question only for you to hear it halfway and then decide you don't wanna fucking know? Huh? Because if so I don't have time for it, I've lost a lot of sleep as it is thinking abou-" He huffed and looked away. "I gotta run. I'm fine really, not like you care but I'm fine. Now if you'll excuse me I have a twenty minute nap calling my name before Lit." he walked around him, cutting a wide path and calling out to Shin waiting in the hall talking.

"What was that about, you get shit from Professor Prick again?"

"Not really. Don't worry about it. Let's go."

[TruthSayer]

Jon scowled. That was what he got for taking an interest in his students, for showing concern for one's well-being. And the worst part was that he knew better. He'd already broken Cardinal Rule #1 and socialized with a student outside of school; he shouldn't attempt to start conversations that didn't pertain to A&P subject matter inside of school, although a very big part of him wanted to call Kevin back and explain to him exactly why it was wise to respect those in positions of authority.

He wouldn't do it, though; he never wanted to speak to Kevin Jacobs again.